that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
