i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
