i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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