I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
