told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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