He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
