He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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