oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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