I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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