I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
