My hand turned me down
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
