No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
