Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
