I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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