i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
