You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
