It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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