I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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