shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
