it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
