White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
