Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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