Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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