i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
