i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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