Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
