So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
