God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
