That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
