yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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