i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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