if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I would fuck him just for his dog
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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