I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
