He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I need water and some morals
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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