you traded sex for a burrito?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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