its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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