My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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