It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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