No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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