Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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