He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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