I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize