i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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