is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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