i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
