He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
