Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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