I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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