I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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