How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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