Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
