Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
