You really coming over, don't trick.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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