I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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