Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm like, not good at living.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
