last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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