is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My ATM looks so different sober.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I fill condoms, not promises.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize