I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
