I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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