Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
