She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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