i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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