He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize