OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?