I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
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I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival