R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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