dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.