"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.