remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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