I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
