Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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