I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
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It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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