My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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