just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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